Exploring the Purpose of Relationships
Innate Cooperation Towards Harmonious Balance is the Way of the Universe
Our Beloved Family:
If you look closely, it’s amazing how even the smallest part of life can mimic the form and function of the largest. For example, the human cell has a round nucleus at the center, around which move various organelles, like the mitochondria and centriole, performing their various functions and maintaining balance. In the same way the solar system, which is immeasurably larger than the cell, also has a nucleus at the center (the sun) around which all its associated parts (the planets) rotate, performing their proper functions and gravitational influences to maintain the structure and balance of our planetary environment.
This kind of innate cooperation to achieve effortless balance is programmed by the universe into every part of nature, including us. Universal intention to become the highest expression of oneself is woven into the energetic fabric of every living thing. An acorn doesn’t have to struggle to become an oak tree. It simply does because it surrenders to the universe’s plan for greatness already within itself. It’s the universe’s intention that it become the broadest, strongest and tallest oak tree it is capable of being, and so it does. Likewise, the universe’s intention is that we also become the highest manifestations of ourselves and in turn, create a world that’s equally accomplished and enlightened without struggle or resistance. So if this is the intention of the universe, then why aren’t we the greatest expression of ourselves, why is the world so out of balance, and why does it seem so hard?
A shift of awareness away from the self to its connectedness to everything around it fulfills a larger intention which we call self-actualization.
For our answers, let’s go back to the cell and see how it works. When a sperm cell fertilizes an egg, the universe’s intention for its highest manifestation is a human body. The cell understands that it isn’t an island unto itself in nature, but exists as part of the greater process to produce a baby, and thus surrenders to the intention the universe has for itself in this broader plan. This shift of awareness away from the self to its connectedness to everything around it in order to fulfill a larger intention is what we call self-actualization. With this purpose in mind, the fertilized egg begins to generate other cells, which also divide and continue to do the same. Soon, the cells are specializing into brain, lung, liver and kidney cells, all branching out to create organs and organ systems that support each other. This level of function is called collaboration, as the many cells now work together to bring universal intention into reality. Eventually, the baby is born, and the cells continue to be of service to the universe’s manifestation by keeping the baby happy, healthy and developing into the greatest expression of itself.
In the same way, each human being is a cell in the body of mankind. Therefore, in order for the universal intention of balance and peace to be achieved in the world, we too must be self-actualized. This means not identifying with our flesh as separate persons but with our spirits, and understanding that we are connected with everything and everyone around us in an endless web of energy to which we play an integral role. Secondly, we must work together through collaboration to achieve this universal goal of peace, which means putting aside selfish desires for the greater good. Finally, the actions that we take must be in service of the common goal.
It’s no surprise then that just as the microcosm mimics the macrocosm, we have a spiritual malignancy affecting the world today, a kind of ME-ism that’s driving far too many people, corporations, governments and so on to act in ways that prevent peace and balance from manifesting on a global scale.
Relationship at the Right Level of Consciousness
The tool the universe has given us to accomplish this greater good is relationship. Nothing in creation exists in a vacuum. It’s always relating to someone or something else. So the universal conversation between objects of creation is designed to operate from the perspective of us and ours, not me and mine. What happens when a cell of the body sees itself as separate from the others, doesn’t want to collaborate for the greater good and goes off and does its own thing without regard for the consequences of its actions on the rest of the body? We call that cancer. It’s no surprise then that just as the microcosm mimics the macrocosm, we have a spiritual malignancy affecting the world today, a kind of ME-ism that’s driving far too many people, corporations, governments and so on to act in ways that prevent peace and balance from manifesting on a global scale.
Most of the time, people go into a relationship preoccupied with the idea of what they can get out of it. “Will this business partnership bring me more profits?” as opposed to, “How will this new venture help me provide better service?” “Will my fiancé be able to provide me with adequate financial stability, great sex, a good sense of humor and emotional support?” as opposed to, “Does this relationship have the necessary depth for both of us to grow spiritually within it and how can I facilitate that process?” We go into relationships thinking it’s all about me and wonder why so many of them never work, the intended greater good of that relationship never getting a chance to manifest. Unfortunately, our interactions with people have become transactional instead of relational.
This disconnect happens when we over identify with the physical world or as spiritual teachers call it, the superstition of materialism. If I think all I am is a separate body, then all my actions will be self-serving and about self-preservation to support only my body and my needs, even at the expense of other bodies. If, however, I identify with spirit, then I know that like waves on the ocean, my spirit is connected to all other spirits on a much deeper level. In fact, our seemingly separate lives and bodies are just temporary extensions of the One great source or Spirit. From this perspective I can see that there is no real separation, and on the spirit level—I am you, and you are me. From this level of consciousness, self-actualization, we naturally act in the good of our fellow men through collaboration and service because we finally understand we are truly One. What I do or don’t do for others, I bring the same outcome to myself. Intimacy doesn’t get much deeper than realizing we are each other. Therefore, if our relationship with spirit is aligned, our relationships with others will be as well because we’ll naturally act in collaborative ways that are of service not just to ourselves, but others, too. As we do, the universal intention for the highest good for ourselves and the other person(s) in our relationship will be manifested through each interaction.
Our tough relationships are where we grow the most. The friction we experience in them comes from the character defects in our partners and the ones we exhibit to them.
Of course, this doesn’t mean all our relationships are going to be easy. Just as the cells of the body are assigned different tasks we, as the individual cells of the body of mankind, are also being assigned by spirit to specific duties to provide optimal function and healing for the world. Some of us are directed into professions of music, art, science, education and so on while at the same time we’re being guided into specific relationships with certain people that serve the same purposes. Just as the body is a perfect ecosystem so is the universe, and it knows exactly what it’s doing to achieve balance when it directs you to take a specific job, marry a particular person or even walk down a certain street. This is why it isn’t necessary to pain ourselves over where we’re “supposed to be” in life or struggle with what it is we’re “supposed” to be doing. The universe has directed us to where we are in the present moment because there is work for us to be done right here, right now, in relationship through spirit. Here is exactly where we’re all supposed to be.
Our tough relationships are where we grow the most. It’s friction against the grinding wheel that gives a crude diamond it’s brilliance and beauty. The friction we experience in relationships comes from the character defects in our partners and the ones we exhibit to them. If we’re acting from spirit in a collaborative way that serves us and our partners, then we know that character defects aren’t where someone is bad; it’s where they’re wounded. Much of the time what we see as a lack of love (rudeness, controlling behavior, etc.) is a call for love. Too often, we resist or reject others because of their wounds and forget the real purpose of relationship is for both parties to collaborate and be of service to each other’s healing and growth. If we remain focused on only our separate physical needs, then we miss that opportunity. Think back to a recent difficult moment in one of your relationships. If you could go back and act from spirit being an instrument of love, how might your choices have been different?
Relationship isn’t something we need to struggle for. It’s our primal state of being, just like all the cells of the body that are working effortlessly together for a greater good.
This doesn’t mean that you’re supposed to allow yourself to be abused or remain in relationships that are unhealthy. It simply means that in order to be in right relationship with the universe, spirit and yourself, you can’t stand in judgment of the other person because you’re not getting what you want. Relationship has a far greater purpose than that, and it requires us to be instruments of love if that purpose is to be realized for ourselves and the people we interact with for however long that may be. The purpose may be revealed after a relationship ends, but it will only come to light if we operate from the consciousness of spirit while we’re in those healing moments.
Relationships, whether they’re between two people or two global superpowers, don’t work when we use them for our purposes only. When we’re in it for what we can get it doesn’t serve the whole or the greater intention the relationship exists in the first place. Relationship isn’t something we need to struggle for. It’s our primal state of being, just like all the cells of the body that are working effortlessly together for a greater good. To do the same, perhaps it would be better for us to not think of ourselves as so unique, but rather just like everyone else with our own share of wounds. At least that will help us operate from empathy. Ultimately as we heal individually through relationship, we contribute significantly to world healing. The best part is we don’t have to wait for our personal healing to occur for change to start happening on a larger scale. Just understanding that while we may be wounded, we don’t have to act from that wound in relationship creates a consciousness shift that moves our lives and the world back toward balance.
Love and Light of Light Ahead,
Dr. Habib Sadeghi & Dr. Sherry Sami